


An Unexpected Journey: Azaghâl

by JustRamblinOn



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: But I'm Doing My Best I Swear, F/M, I suck at tagging, Meg Will Not Flirt With That Dwarf That Is A Promise, Meg and Fili's POV, Meg is a snarky shit, Modern Girl in Middle Earth, Modern Girls in Middle Earth, OG Dwarf Rave, Rhi is the damn bard, Welcome to Middle Earth, Will update as we move along, but i bet you knew that already, dwarves are short but fun, fili is also a shit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-09
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:27:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27464914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustRamblinOn/pseuds/JustRamblinOn
Summary: Meg's best friend Rhi woke her up to find themselves in Middle Earth, and for the most part Meg is only pissed about being woken up. Dwarves, wizards, Hobbits, even the damn dragon are whatever in the face of her intense need for coffee. Even the somewhat distressing idea that she is, in fact, a witch- and not just a bitch like she already knew- isn't enough to rattle her. After all, this is just some weird acid trip, right?Except Meg has never done drugs in her life. And Fili Durin sure is making it hard to remember how these movies ended.Good thing Meg always keeps her wits about her- and sharper than Fíli's endless knives. Sarcasm, coffee, and a distinctly cynical worldview will help her keep all of Middle Earth's dangers at arm's length, including one lion-hearted heir to the Mountain Throne.
Relationships: Fili - Relationship, Fíli (Tolkien)/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 11





	An Unexpected Journey: Azaghâl

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to Meg and Fili's POV! Rhi's not dead (she swears) and we've been sitting on this for way too long! Queen of Angst is here to balance out the tooth rotting fluff from Rhi. 
> 
> We highly recommend you read Rhi's POV before Meg's, because she's the one with the actual, you know, story. What you find here is supplimental, born largely of Rhi screaming in Tolkien at me and me, after awhile, screaming back. The Meg and Fili parts will add some extra information and behind the scenes moments, but there won't be a chapter here for every chapter of the main story. 
> 
> Hope you love it as much as we do! 
> 
> XOXO, JustRamblinOn

[Khuzdul; beginning of all beginnings] 

Dwarves, I thought, vaguely amazed. Middle Earth, Gandalf, Bag End, and- fucking dwarves. I'd just been to the OG dwarf rave- movie version- and holy crap had it been fun. These guys knew how to party. 

Poor Bilbo. 

Oh, and I'd also recently been informed that I am, in fact, a witch. Responding with a blank stare and the words "yeah, I know, with a capital b, right?" had not gone over well with Gandalf or Rhi. Though Rhi at least thought it was funny. 

I wasn't going to pretend I have any fucking clue what they meant by that, but apparently Gandalf the Disgruntled Minor God thinks I'm some kind of magic user. Kinda cool; but honestly not likely. 

On the other hand, neither was landing in Middle Earth when I'd fallen asleep in my own bed at home. So what the fuck did I know? 

Well, for starters, I knew that Fíli Durin was going to be trouble.

Look, Rhi had this thing about Kíli, and had since- well, since she starting reading Legolas fanfic and ended up balls deep in the Hobbit without ever having seen the movies. Honestly, girl took one look and said "mine"- which, fair enough, not like I haven't done the same. And it made for some truly hilarious moments that evening while I tried to get her to calm the ever-loving fuck down. 

And I wasn't saying I'd never thought "oh man, Fili's pretty hot" before landing here. I try not to make a habit of lying. 

But he opened that door and those eyes met mine, and- 

Well.

He walked in like he owned the damn place and I firmly reminded myself that I was dreaming. Cause, honestly, that was the only rational explanation for all this. I'd fallen asleep watching the Hobbit, that's all. Or I was high as a goddamn kite.

On the other hand, the violent need for caffeine earlier was a pretty spot-on indication that I was, in fact, awake. I didn't usually crave things in my sleep. 

When Dwalin had rung Bilbo's doorbell, I'd been buried in a pile of Hobbit books making happy noises. I've loved Tolkien's works since before I hit double digits. Reading Hobbit history in a Hobbit hole with Hobbit tea and Hobbit smells? Even if it was an acid trip, it was a damn good one. 

Then there were Dwarves. Dwalin's utter confusion upon seeing one human in a Boondock Saints t shirt and leggings come around the corner with a croquette mallet in hand was- well, honestly, it was priceless. As had been Bilbo's. 

I had to get Rhi out of bed before Balin got there or she'd pout at me, so I missed most of Bilbo's exchange with the brothers, and then the chaos had begun. I only followed her to the door because I didn't want her to do anything insane, like pass out at the sight of Kíli or possibly throw herself into his arms. 

Actually, that second one would have been amusing; I was all for that.

The door opened, I leaned against the wall, and blue eyes met mine like he knew where to look. It was impossible, of course. Then again, there'd been as many as six impossible things before breakfast here already. Look, Alice, your own personal Tolkien-inspired Wonderland. 

But there was something in the way he looked at me as he bowed and declared "at your service'- for a moment, it felt like he was talking to me, just to me. He was certainly staring at me, and when Bilbo tried to push them back out the door and distracted him from his scrutiny I let out the breath I didn't realize I'd been holding. 

Then he'd started pulling blades from every-fucking-where, and it'd been a fight to keep a straight face. What was it about Men With Sharp Objects that was so…. Hot? (Yes, ok, Dwarf With Sharp Objects in this case. Principle is the same; he is all male, whatever species.) 

"Careful with these. I've just had them sharpened," he said to Bilbo, piling knives into the poor Hobbit's arms without even looking at him.

He winked at me instead. 

I couldn't stop the smirk. The little shit wanted to play; I could play. After all, it wasn't real, right? I bit at my lip and let the smirk change to a smile, but Dwalin appeared to distract them before I could do something stupid like start flirting with Fíli Durin. That was a damn bad idea. A damn bad one. 

That lasted exactly as long as it took for him and Kíli to get stumped by the barrel of ale. I watched them for a minute, then shook my head and stalked over. "Move," I ordered Fíli. 

He looked me up and down slowly and glanced at his brother. I lifted one eyebrow in question. He moved, though, sliding over so I could crouch next to him and work the tap. 

"Fíli," he said. "And you are- Aye! Very nice, lass!" 

I stuck my mouth under the tap and took a swig, to test it, and Kíli cheered. Fili's eyes shot wide before he settled his expression into casual approval. I shoved back up to my feet and turned to see what else needed doing. I glanced back over my shoulder and found them both still watching me, Fíli with that same intensity from when the door had opened and our eyes met. 

"Meg," I told him, and Rhi yelled my name almost immediately. "Not 'lass'. Meg." 

When every scrap of food in Bilbo's pantry was laid out along the table, I found myself somehow seated between Gandalf and Oin, ducking food and trying not to laugh so hard I choked. The good humor in the room was utterly infectious, and the ale hadn't even been flowing. 

As if he read my mind, Fíli came walking along the table with tankards in hand. "Who wants an ale? There you go." 

Rhi surprised me when her voice shot out. "I'll take one!" 

Conversation dimmed and heads swung her way, including Fíli’s. He looked surprised, and I bit my cheek when he claimed it was Dwarvish ale and would put hair on even her chin. It was Dwarvish ale, but he couldn't work the damn tap? 

I managed to keep a straight face until Bombur almost sent her face-first into her plate, and I got her middle finger in response when I cracked up.

"Ain't me you're gonna be doing that to tonight if you drink enough of that ale," I told her snidely. "I'll take one, though." 

He held the mug just out of my reach and flashed me a smile that had to have worked on a woman or two in his day. "Sure you need the cup this time?" he asked. Louder, he spoke to Rhi as I snatched the mug from his hands with a roll of my eyes. "I meant that Human women aren't known to be able to grow such luscious facial hair as Dwarven women. It's a pity, really. You'd both be quite stunning if only you could sprout a good beard."

Oh, that was too good an opportunity to pass up. "Are you calling us ugly?" 

His eyes shot to mine and away when he saw my expression, and I gave myself a point on my mental scoreboard as he answered. "Course not. You're both very beautiful. I just prefer bearded women is all." 

"In all fairness, lass, most women would look better with a beard. Don't take it personal," Oin offered. 

"Oh, don't worry. I rarely make things personal," I assured him, eyes on Fíli as I said it. He heard me; I knew, based on the way his step hitched as he made his way back around the table. 

"Ale, on three!" 

I drained my mug with the rest of them, slamming it down on the table seconds behind Oin, and I could feel Fíli’s eyes on me as I cheered the belches along with everyone else. 

I wandered the house with my mug, sipping this time. Dwarves were everywhere, and Bilbo was right about one thing- the damn house had been utterly destroyed. 

"You can hold your own with a tankard of ale, can't you?" 

I turned and lifted an eyebrow at Fíli. "I can hold my own with a lot of things, thank you very much." 

His smile was fast and bright and real this time, and it caught me off guard. "Oh, I bet," he agreed. 

"- they've all but destroyed the plumbing! I don't understand what they're doing in my house!" Bilbo's voice rose with each word and I winced. 

Fíli looked confused. "I thought he invited us?" 

"Not exactly," I muttered. 

"Excuse me. I'm sorry to interrupt, but what should I do with my plate?" 

Fíli shoved off the wall with another smoldering look my way. "See if you can hold your own with this," he challenged. "Here you go, Ori, give it to me!" 

Shit, he was sneaky. I was never one to resist a challenge, but I knew what was coming. One of Bilbo's china plates went sailing through the air and I held my hands up in immediate surrender when he caught another one flying in from the dining room beyond and looked my way as he sent it winging to Kíli. 

There was no way in hell I was going to get involved in that. But it didn't mean I couldn't enjoy the show. 

Especially when I was pretty damn sure he'd just started it all for me. 

Three thumps sounded on the door. The laughter ceased and Gandalf's eyes turned distant. 

"He is here," Gandalf declared. 

I sighed and shoved my hair back from my face. "Fucking wizards. So goddamn dramatic," I muttered. 

Rhi had come up beside me, still flushed and grinning from dancing on the table (they'd tried to get me up there too, but I required a hell of a lot more ale than I’d had before I was going to be doing any table dancing, thank you very much), Kíli and Fíli on her heels. I couldn't be sure, but I was reasonably certain that strangled choking noise behind me was Fíli.

"Gandalf. I thought you said this place would be easy to find. I lost my way, twice," Thorin declared, walking through the front door slowly and majestically. 

"That's because you're blind as a bat and won’t ask directions," I muttered. 

That was definitely Fíli trying not to laugh. At least someone found me funny.

Ok, so here's the thing. I don't do well being told I can't do something. I've been informed I have authority issues. I don't think it's authority issues so much as it is "issues with people being dumb." Point being, between Thorin's casual sexism and clear dismissal of Bilbo- honey, you're going to be so wrong about that one, apologize to your boyfriend immediately- I was pretty pissed. 

It's the only explanation I can offer for the…. Somewhat liberal approach I took to the truth when asked about my skills with a blade. In my defense-

Yeah, no, I didn't really have a defense. I was going to be in so much trouble later on. 

The Dwarves gathered around the table while Thorin ate and they discussed their plans, and I let my mind wander. How long was this acid trip going to continue? Not that I was complaining, but for a dream, this was getting remarkably long and incredibly vivid. 

I was almost starting to forget it even was a dream. 

"Yes, I know what a dragon is, thank you," Bilbo declared in a perfect deadpan. Rhi would have a lot to say about sarcasm being what drew me out of my head, but I tried not to smile as Ori shoved to his feet. 

"I'm not afraid. I'll give him a taste of Dwarvish iron, right up his jacksie!" 

Half the dwarves cheered as one of his brothers pulled him firmly back down, but it was Balin's grim voice that cut across the crowd. "The task would be difficult enough if we had an army behind us, but we number just thirteen. And a few others, of course," he added, eyes meeting mine. "And not thirteen of the best, nor brightest." 

Damn, these guys could throw some shade, I thought. Respect, my friend.

The muted rumbles of protest were silenced by Fili's fist hitting the table. He looked around, confidence in his eyes and his voice. "We may be few in numbers, but we're fighters, all of us! To the last Dwarf, and beyond!"

"And you forget, we have not only a Wizard, but two Witches with us as well!" Kili's eager enthusiasm had me smiling, until he continued. "Gandalf alone will have killed hundreds of dragons in his time." 

I shook my head, shoving my hair back as Gandalf protested. As conversation turned into shouting- I had a feeling that was a habit with these guys- I could feel eyes on me. 

Thorin silenced them all with a roar in Khuzdul- I frowned, thinking I could pick out individual words after listening to Bifur all evening, but I had no idea what Thorin had just said and I wanted to- and as he began a speech (something else I imagined was a habit), I found serious blue eyes lingering on me more often than they watched Thorin. 

He was going to have to stop that, damn it. Being studied like he could see all the way down into my soul wasn’t something I was used to. I liked it a little too much.

I ignored Thorin's talk of fate, tried not to laugh at Bilbo's complete shock and Bofur’s relentless teasing, and made the Hobbit some tea in a reverse of when I'd shown up at his door. I teased Rhi and Kíli, which was clearly going to be my primary source of entertainment while I was in this dream, and enjoyed the way Fíli was laughing at both me and them. 

His hair practically glowed in the firelight, the lion’s mane turning into a golden halo. 

I needed to stop drinking, I decided with a grimace. I set my tankard- almost empty, and I honestly wasn't sure anymore how many times it had been filled- down on a shelf as I followed them into the living room. 

Thorin and the others were humming, the seriousness of the moment gathering on the air like thunderheads filling the sky. I was already getting chills, just from the humming, and I knew what was coming.

Dwarves, man. They were fun, they were chalk full of "fight me", and they could sing. It was a shame they were all so short. 

Actually, it was probably a good thing for my sake that they were all so short. 

"Far over the Misty Mountains cold, to dungeons deep and caverns old. We must away, ere break of day, to find our long forgotten gold." 

Deep voices ranging from tenor to bass melded into perfect harmony. They broke my heart to look at, but I couldn't look away either. All of them were remembering when the Mountain fell, or remembering the stories passed down by those who had been there. 

Smaug, Chiefest and Greatest of Calamities, had a lot to answer for. Starting with the look in Thorin Oakenshield's eyes as he stared at the embers. I hoped this dream continued long enough for me to get the chance to make the dragon pay.

Thorin had blasted us immediately, and I should have expected that, I suppose. We were human women in strange garb, and he was on the brink of the most important thing he'd ever undertaken. I couldn't fault him for being a majestic asshole. 

Didn't mean I hadn't put him in his place. Lies may or may not have been included. 

Whatever the case, if this was somehow real after all and not a prolonged hallucination, I knew from the first note that I would give my heart and soul for them. Smaug was a menace. He'd killed and ravaged, all for what? Gold? Fuck that noise. 

"The pines were roaring on the height. The winds were moaning in the night. The fire was red, it flaming spread. The trees like torches blazed with light." 

Fíli stood opposite his uncle at the fireplace, and as they sang, I swear it was like the fun-loving, cocky troublemaker, the golden playboy who’d been flirting and having casual eye sex with me all night, fell away. In his place was the heir apparent to a broken throne, and the weight of duty was something I could physically see on his shoulders. 

I wanted to take his hand, the one he held at his side, fingers opening and closing like he wanted to be clutching the hilt of a sword. I wondered if he'd grip mine back hard enough to hurt; if the offer of comfort and support would be something he'd cling to or something he'd loathe. 

Rhi had tipped her head to my shoulder, but as the last notes faded she fled the room. I wasn’t surprised- my bitch is an emotional bitch, and that was a moment that had me feeling a little misty eyed, so she was gonna be a hot mess for a minute. I started to go after her, but Kíli touched my arm. 

“I’ll go,” he said, already staring anxiously in her direction. 

I nodded and let him. She'd either thank me for it or yell at me for it, and I've always been of the opinion that you miss all the shots you don't take, so- let the Dwarf go. Maybe my bitch will get laid.

She absolutely would not get laid, and I knew that damn well. 

“She’s in the library, I’d imagine,” I told him. 

"Thank you." 

I shook my head as he hurried down the hall, then wandered off for a minute on my own. Dwarf rave was the bomb, yeah, and maybe this particular acid trip was an enjoyable acid trip, but it was… overwhelming to be surrounded by them all at once for this long. The noise, the singing and laughter and music; the smells; the general atmosphere; and the sheer intensity of the damn Durin clan- it was all just too much, too long. I needed a break, too. 

Bilbo's front room was dark, the glow of lamplight and firelight further in the house and silvery moonlight spilling through the windows giving just enough illumination that I could make my way around without killing my shins. I wandered to the window and leaned against it so I could study the sky. I frowned, because that- yeah, that looked like an earth constellation, and I definitely wasn't in Kansas anymore, Toto. 

"Glitch in the Matrix," I muttered. 

"Are you alright?" 

Oh look, one of the damn Durins I mentioned. "I'm fine. Just thought I'd take a minute." 

"Dwarves can be overwhelming. Especially all of us, together. We haven't had a gathering like this in years. And we're going to take back the Mountain. We're all a bit- a bit on edge, and so a bit rowdy." He wandered closer, to lean on the wall opposite me. He was a good foot shorter than I was, but it was far too easy to forget that. He just had presence, Fíli Durin, enough to fill the damn room. 

"Its loud. And lovely," I said honestly. "You all adore each other. It shows." 

He smiled, looking over his shoulder with his eyes fond. "Is it that obvious? We few are bonded, not just by our common purpose. We follow my uncle, every one of us."

I don't know why, in silver moonlight, he made me think of a hazy dawn, where the light is all diffused and shimmering gold. Must have been the hair, I decided. 

"So," I said after a moment. He'd looked back out the window, taking a sip from the tankard he held and studying the moon. I reached out, absently, and took it from his hand for a long swallow. His eyes danced as I handed it back, and I considered being embarrassed. I hadn't thought; I just acted. Oh well. If he didn't like it he'd say something, right? 

He certainly wouldn't raise the cup to his lips in a piss poor attempt at hiding a smile. "So?" 

What the fuck had I been about to say? It was lost now, so I blurted out the first thing that came to mind, looking over his shoulder toward the front hall and the glint of light on one of the many, many blades he'd handed to Bilbo. "How do you know we're fighters?" 

"What?" He sounded genuinely confused, so I looked back at him and shrugged. I took the tankard again, gesturing with it lazily. I'd already done it once; twice couldn't hurt any worse, right? 

"'We're fighters, all of us! To the last Dwarf, and beyond,'" I quoted, eyebrow up. I took another swallow and he held out a hand, but I didn't give the mug back right away. 

He got a wicked gleam in his eyes when I knocked back another gulp first, and I licked foam from my upper lip and watched the way he watched me. Then he shook his head, voice light. "Oh, you're not a fighter." 

Considering I very much was not and had lied my ass off to Thorin and Dwalin, I got very offended very quickly. "Excuse the fuck out of you?" I snapped, shoving off the wall to cross my arms and glare. 

He drained the rest of the ale and winked at me, turning to go back into the other room. "You're not a fighter. You're azaghâl. A warrior. Come on, Uncle Thorin will be missing my brother and I, and we should check on your friend." 

"She wants to fuck him," I mumbled, trying not to melt into goo at the fact that he'd just called me a warrior. In Khuzdul. 

I liked it way too damn much. 

"I can assure you, the feeling is entirely mutual on his part. I imagine they will, tonight." 

Oh, they very much would not, I thought, smothering a laugh as we hovered outside the door to the library. "Bet," I whispered fiercely. Somehow we'd both ended up with our ears practically glued to the door, trying to catch any sound within. 

"A wager, m'lady? Terms?" Fíli’s smile was a shark’s, and I remembered a little too late how much Dwarves love a good bet. 

Whatever, I could hold my own. "Two silver says they don't even kiss tonight. Ten gold says they don't fuck for like, a month. Minimum." 

Fíli smirked. "You don't know my brother." 

"You don't know my bitch."

He held out his hand. "Done, then. Less than a month, and you owe me ten gold." 

I slapped my hand into his, but instead of shaking it like I’d expected, he raised it to his lips, kissing my knuckles lightly. I shot him an amused glance as I reclaimed my hand. "That how you seal bets in Dwarvish culture?" 

"It is when they're bets I'm going to win against beautiful women," he said smoothly. 

I snorted. "Thought I needed a beard." 

"Aye, and you'll grow one, you keep drinking our ale like you have tonight." 

"Fíli, K-" Thorin's voice startled us both, and I jumped. 

Fíli straightened from where he'd been leaning on the wall, his shoulders going back and his face turning serious. Thorin looked from him to me and frowned, and I wondered if that was a permanent part of his Dramatic Gay Majesty's face. 

"Where is your brother? And why do you two look like you're sneaking around?" 

I raised the tankard I'd stolen from him again to my lips to hide my guilty expression and didn't say a word. Fíli opened the door to the study and waved me in front of him, shooting a sly look my way as I ducked inside. 

Oh, yeah. One thing I knew for sure-

Fíli Durin was going to be trouble.


End file.
